Empowering Relationships

When it comes to improving relationships, everybody advices the women to become better. Better in everything- be it better partner, better listener, better kisser. The older generation also doesn’t spare to warn the women to be better if they want good relationship. Though the intention of all these people are good but it doesn’t seem to serve the purpose, it is intended to be, as it leads women to think that there is something wrong in them.

My experience says that women don’t need to change much. It’s only that they have few little habits of communication or covering which are covering up most of their attractive selves. Here are some empowering advices to the women wanting to improve their lives. Following these advices, one can improve their communication and their relationship.

Don’t Sacrifice Your Connection with YOURSELF for Connection with a Man

Sometimes, we want a connection with another person so badly that we’re willing to do anything to get it. We change our tastes to match theirs. We go along with things, we don’t really want to do, in order to please them. Pleasing people slowly becomes a habit.

 It’s good to be open to exploring new interests or appreciating new things your partner might suggest, if you find yourself compromising your values or sacrificing important goals in order to attract or keep a man around, you’re heading in the wrong direction.

When you sacrifice your integrity, or you compromise your values, not only will you lose respect for yourself  but he’ll also lose respect for you, as well.

Stay Connected to Your Community

When you first meet someone, it can be so thrilling that you just want to spend all of your free time together. While this is a natural impulse in the first few weeks or months, don’t forget to nurture your other relationships, as well.  There is a saying “It takes a Village to raise a Child”. Well the same is true of great relationships.

The more connected you are to your friends and your community, the stronger your relationship has the capacity to be. The strongest relationships are the ones in which both partners have communities, OUTSIDE the relationship.

Don’t Try to Change His Mind, Instead Change How He FEELS

It might seem like men are illogical. Why does he say- He wants certain qualities in a woman, but then seems interested in women who have none of those qualities? The truth is, attraction has its own kind of logic.

It doesn’t care what he thinks he wants, or what he SHOULD want. Which is why trying to convince him to want you — using logic and reason — never works. Instead, if you trigger the right emotions in him, then he’ll convince himself that he can’t live without you. In love, in the war between heart and mind (brain), heart will always win. So think from heart and listen to your heart.

Compromise, But Never Settle

Nobody is perfect. And it’s important to accept some of a man’s flaws, just as you hope he’ll accept yours. When you’re “compromising” on important things like being treated with respect, or feeling like a priority, then it no longer feels like a healthy compromise. It feels like you’re settling for less than you deserve.

 If you are not sure whether you are compromising or settling in her relationship, then ask yourself, “If you continued as you have been in this relationship for 6 months, or a year, or several years, who would you become, as a result of this? Would you be more or less like the person you want to be? Would you become meeker, or more timid, or angrier?

Or would this compromise help you grow as a person? If you’d feel diminished as a person by a certain compromise, then you’re settling, and you shouldn’t do it.

Respect The Natural Pace of Things

As exciting as it can be to meet someone new and fall in love, it can also be a time of great anxiety. The desire to move past the uncertainty phase and get to a place of safety and security is sometimes overwhelming.

You might find yourself continually wondering “What if he doesn’t love me back the way I love him?”  “What if he leaves me?” “What if he discovers, I’m not who he thought I was?” “What if he meets someone, he likes more?” It’s important to recognize that these anxieties are natural in the beginning phases of getting to know someone.

And if you try to rush past them to advance your relationship too quickly, it’s like tugging on a flower in order to get it to grow. You may end up killing things before they have a chance to really blossom.

Be Generous with Your Appreciation

One of the best predictors of success in a relationship is how much appreciation the two people express for each other. But sometimes, we become stingy with our appreciation. We don’t want to thank him for helping with the dishes because he should be doing them anyway.

But when you start to withhold appreciation, the relationship suffers.

It’s well known by psychologists that you get more of the behavior you reward, and less of the behavior you don’t. So if you’re withholding appreciation because it’s “not enough”, you’ll continue to be frustrated with him for a long time.

Have the Courage to be Vulnerable (Courageous Communication)

 Opening up   seems to be scary. There’s a risk in opening your heart, and you don’t want to tell him how you feel about him until he tells you, how he feels about you. But there’s something powerful about owning your interest in someone. Being able to say  “I like you. And this is what I want”, rather than pretending you could take it or leave it with him.

Intimacy grows when both partners take steps towards each other in vulnerability and make it safe for the other to do so.

If you constantly guard your heart, you can never truly let someone else in.

Let Him do Things for You

Deep down, a lot of women don’t believe they have much to offer to a relationship. So they think that being easygoing, undemanding and generous is what will make a man want to stick around.

As a result, they’re very comfortable doing things for their partner, but very uncomfortable letting him do things for them. But when you’re the one who’s always doing things for him, the relationship starts to fall out of balance.

You need to give HIM the opportunity to do things for you. Because the more time, effort and energy he invests in you and your relationship, the more strongly he’ll feel for you. This is called “The Investment Effect”, and it’s a powerful driver of attraction.

You’re Not Doing Things for ‘Him’, You’re Doing Them for the Relationship

When a woman feels resentful doing things for her partner, it is suggested that she thinks of their relationship as a “third entity”. In other words, there’s her, there’s him, and there’s the relationship.

And you need to invest in all three of them if you want your relationship to thrive. Try thinking of your relationship as its own entity which needs to be nurtured, and cared for, and invested in, if it’s going to thrive

Focus on “Infatuation”

The #1 mistake I see women making in their love lives, is trying to making a man LIKE them.

Most women think if a guy ‘likes’ her, then naturally he’ll want to be hers. But the truth is, men don’t choose a woman based on how much they LIKE her. They choose her based on how INFATUATED they are with her.

Once a guy becomes infatuated, something weird happens in his brain: The parts that control ‘rational thinking’ literally shut down. So whatever objections he had before to being with her, simply vanish from his mind. And all he can focus on, is making ‘her’ his.

Once you give a serious thought to these points and put them in practice your relationship goals will be easily met. So girls go for it.

From the  hands of – Mrs Neera Singh

About the Author

Mrs Neera Singh is a trained Human Nutrition Consultant having Masters Degree in Human Nutrition and Dietetics. She has also been an educationist of repute. She is a Social Activist and a pioneer of Women Empowerment.