What it Means to ‘Design Your Life’

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that we were constantly asked as kids and are expected to have an answer to. And yet, do we ever stop to think about how absurd this is?

How in the world is a child supposed to know what he or she truly wants to become when they haven’t even scratched the surface of life itself? It is ironic, isn’t it? And yet, the irony doesn’t stop there, does it?

We continue to cling onto those childhood dreams of the past—falsely believing they truly are our calling—and try to forge them onto our way of life today. We size up circles we drew as a kid and attempt to fit them into the squares of the reality of adulthood, until one day we “give up” and simply succumb to our present circumstances and call it fate.

You stick to the job you hate because, hey, “this is the way life is; suck it up and carry onward.” You stick to the law career path you’ve fallen into even though deep down; it’s become evidently clear that it’s not the right path for you. You have changed—but hey, “this is the way life is; suck it up and carry onward.”

Society has molded us into such a narrow one-dimensional way of thinking because we were raised to believe that the only way

to prosperity was to choose a career path and work our way up that ladder. You’re either an engineer or a writer. You’re either a dentist or a graphic designer.

You enter the real world and realize: “I hate this.” Will I live the rest of my life like this?

That’s the question you start to ponder. There has to be more, you begin to think. I speak from experience. But soon enough, there will come a time when you will have to make a decision. You will either continue to tread the miserable path or you will summon your courage to bravely leap over your fears and into another direction. Once you commit to taking that step forward in faith, that’s when you begin crossing into the trajectory of leading an authentic and intentional life, one that is true to what you believe is right for you.

In other words, that’s when you start designing your own life.

‘Design Your Life’: Let’s go back to the question of “what do you want to be when you grow up,” a question that has narrowed our scope of thinking. It has limited the horizon of imagination because it squandered the definition of what it means to “grow”— growth is not something that we become, it’s something we are constantly becoming. It’s a process.

Life is not a destination, but a journey, and so is growth. Life is not static, but dynamic, and so is growth. Life is like the waves of the ocean, always forming and crashing, and the trees in the forest, always swaying with the winds of change. Life is all about growth and change and frankly, change is the only constant there ever is.

Perhaps it’s best, then, to reframe that original question, don’t you think? “Who or what do you want to grow into?” That’s the question we should be asking. Not once, but rather, regularly—day in, day out. And that is what the concept of life design is all about: It’s about working from where we are and with what we have to design and build a meaningful, joyful, and fulfilling life, one that is aligned with our values, beliefs, and interests.

Start Thinking Like a Designer: Before you jump into the excitement of designing your ideal life, you first need to learn how to think like a designer. And to that function, we turn to Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, the two Silicon Valley innovators and Stanford University professors who first introduced the idea of Life Design. Inspired by years of teaching Design Thinking, they both believed that in order to create positive change in our lives, we first need a process—a design process—that would allow us to identify what it is we truly want to change and how we can go about creating it. They explain that “designers imagine things that don’t yet exist, and then they build them, and then the world changes. You can do this in your own life. You can imagine a career and a life that doesn’t exist; you can build that future, and as a result, your life will change.”

“When you grow up you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it…

The most important thing is to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you are just going to live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”

Once you learn that you can create the life you imagine, you will never be the same again. As fluffy as that may sound, it’s absolutely true and I vouch for every word of it. Shake off the notion that life is just the way it is and embrace the idea that you can design it, mold it, and improve it to your own liking. And as with everything that is worthwhile in life, it will require honest and hard work.

As per the words of Burnett and Evans:

“Designers don’t think their way forward. Designers build their way forward.”

So let’s get busy building.

Here are the five mindsets you must adopt along this journey.

1. Be curious. Reconnect with your inner child-like imagination. Curiosity is what ignites you to ask the questions that will lead you to see all the opportunities.
2. Try stuff. As mentioned earlier, you can’t think your way forward, you have to build it. That’s why you must cultivate a bias to action. Remember this rule: 80% action, 20% thought.
3. Reframe problems. A reframe is a perspective switch. It’s what helps you articulate the right problems so you can find the right solutions. Always reframe your beliefs and problems to see them in a different light.
4. Know it’s a process. There will be good ideas and bad ideas. Some will work out and many will fail. Mistakes are normal. Obstacles are natural. Life design is like life itself: A journey of ups and downs. Focus on the process, learn from it, and grow through it.
5. Ask for help. A principle of design thinking is radical collaboration. And in everyday life, you’re not alone. Involve people, communities, and mentors in your design process and ask for help when you need it.

“Start where you are. Not where you wish you were. Not where you hope you are. Not where you think you should be. But right where you are.”

“You can’t know where you’re going until you know where you are.”
“You don’t have to have it all figured out for the rest of your life; you just have to create the compass for what life is about for you right now.”

You have to figure out how to quickly, easily, and cheaply get your idea out of your head and collide it with reality. Once you make a choice—then embrace your choice and go with it. When the questions that lead to agonizing creep into your head, evict the thoughts, and direct your energy into living well and the decisions you’ve made. Pay attention and learn as you go, of course, but don’t get caught with your eyes fixated on the rear-view mirror of decision regret.

Life is a process, not an outcome. When we design our lives, we create our purpose and bear meaning to it, and we intentionally craft the lifestyle we wish to lead. This is not a process you go through once because life design is ongoing…

Ask a question to self – “who do I want to grow into?”… rest will fall in place 😊

(Feature pic Credit- CashMe)

Author: Rajni Julka   
                                                                                     
Educationist/Pedagogist,
STEAM & Academic Innovation Expert
Career & Thoughts Coach/Speaker
Global Goodwill Ambassador